Dear Picky Girl:
I like to read in bed before I go to sleep, but my husband would rather watch TV. Unfortunately, my short attention span will not allow me to concentrate on my reading while there is TV on in the background. Pray tell what is the solution? (The solution would be for hubs to be a reader but he just isn’t…)
Dear Anonymous…in Bed:
You married a non-reader?!? Can’t….compute.
Ok, so I’m guessing you love him very much to have gotten past this character flaw. Either that, or he’s great in the… kitchen. How can we make this work? The opening of Kate Chopin’s The Awakening has always amused me. Mr. Pontellier is trying to read his newspaper, but the birds outside his door will not stop squawking. As Chopin says, “the parrot and the mockingbird…had the right to make all the noise they wished. Mr. Pontellier had the privilege of quitting their society when they ceased to be entertaining.”
Am I calling your husband an annoying parrot? In a roundabout way I guess I am, but I’m sure he’s a very colorful annoying parrot. He certainly has the right to watch TV before bed, just as the parrot has a right to repeat whatever random bits of languages he has picked up. However, unlike Mr. Pontellier, you probably do not care to leave the comfort of your bedroom and bed. Being in bed and…reading is, at least for yours truly, a distinct luxury.
What to do, what to do?
- Though this is not at all a literary answer, I think the solution is quite simple. For this you’ll need to go to a specialty shop for adults. You know, like Best Buy. Either buy him a good pair of headphones or buy yourself some cheapo earplugs. Bada bing. Problem solved. Am I genius or what?
- Not sold on it? Have you considered listening to audiobooks with headphones while he is watching TV? This would also leave your hands free for whatever you wish them for in bed…like knitting.
- If all else fails, let me introduce you to a phenomenon called closed captioning. It is not just for the hearing impaired. Far from it, if the aforementioned husband is unwilling to experiment in the bedroom by wearing headphones for the television, perhaps he would concede and put closed captioning on and mute the television.
Anonymous, use your womanly wiles. Present him with his options…in bed, and hopefully your textual life will be that much more rewarding.
Hugs and Air Kisses,
The Picky Girl
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